Two Fingers of Scotch (note: I'm 1/4 Scottish) $4.99
Penis Colada $4.99
FOOD FOR THOUGHT:
Unclaimed Pizza Bagels $4.99 Accompanied by a lecture: "Jews and Italians: A History of Friendship"
Half a Bag of Pretzel Crisps / Crisp 18th Century French Literature Debate $4.99 The pretzels might be stale (I forgot to clip the bag) but the debate will be tres fraiche!
Francis Bacon & Eggs $4.99 Come for the late night breakfast, stay for the celebration of inductive reasoning and the scientific method!
Peanut Butter & Jelly Sandwich $4.99 $.40 off if you profess your other favorite pairing and why (ex: Gilbert & Sullivan, Pierre & Marie Curie, "The Iliad" & "The Odyssey.")
Puzzles Sampler $9.99 (1) pizza bagel, (1) pretzel crisp, (1) egg, (1/2) P, B & J, (1) Lecture on Jews and Italians, (1) 18th century French literature debate, (1) Francis Bacon philosophical theorem explanation
Gum $4.99 Much as we "chew" on important topics of the day at Puzzles, you'll be able to chew on this old pack of Juicy Fruit I found in the closet... (Look, I'm running out of food, okay?)
The Do-All-The-Work-For-Two-Idiots-Who-Think-They-Can-Run-A-Bar $499.99One of Ted's antique cameras, (10) dress shirts from his closet, (1) key to his apartment, (17) of Barney's pornography website passwords, (1) Italian leather wallet with "Barney Stinson" ID